The multifamily housing industry is a people-centered business. Even if you wanted to avoid people, you couldn’t could you? There are people moving in. People moving out. People who want to move in. People who want your business. People who want to work for you. People who work for you. People who you work for.
You cannot escape people … they will always find you. Always.
With so many people that you interact with in a day the odds are good that at some point you will encounter tension with someone else! I have studied connection and communication for many years and one of the most common reasons for miscommunication, misunderstandings, hurt feelings, angry feelings, frustration etc. is tied into our different styles of communicating.
If you’ve read this blog you know that I speak often of the two main communication styles:
- Direct Communicstors
- Indirect Communicators
Direct Communicators say what they mean and mean what they say. If you want to know what a direct communicator is thinking and feeling, just listen to the words! If they like something they’ll tell you. If they don’t like something, they’ll tell you. If they’re upset at you, you’ll know! And if they’d do anything for you, you’ll know that too.
In contrast to the Direct Communicators are the Indirect Communicators, whose words have hidden messages in them. In fact their words often do not communicate the whole message, and much of the message is found in their expression, demeanor, body language, or lack thereof, or in between the lines of the words they say.
Let me give you an example-recently I discovered that someone I know was upset with some of the content in an email I sent out to an organization that we are a part of. This person sent me a very cryptic email that seemed to be out of left field and not make a lot of sense. I just chalked it up to his unique sense of humor.
Well, recently the whole issue escalated and this person has made some major decisions based on this situation. I had no idea he was upset and his email response to me had nothing which said, “Rommel, I I have a problem and I’d like to discuss it with you.” When I sensed something was amiss, I asked him about it directly and he was very cryptic and indirect again, never giving me a straight answer.
Now that I have out all of the pieces together I realized that his earlier communications with me had signs that he was upset, if I could read between the lines, with very strong glasses! I take my responsibility for my role in this and I am debriefing on this now to try and prevent something like this from happening again; however if he was just direct in his communications with me, and chose to clearly communicate his feelings with me, I am confident we would have sorted this out in about two minutes.
My message to you today as you interact and communicate with the people around you…
- Say what you mean.
- Mean what you say.
- Don’t say it mean.
Following these three steps will help you immensely in all that you do!
