When customers are complaining about something to you when the service is not what they expect; when they’ve been left in the dark about a request; when they’ve been treated poorly, you may find that they not only want to tell you about the problem, they want to fight with you about the problem.
These customers will often do whatever they need to do to draw you into the fight. They may accuse you of things you didn’t do; they may use profanity; they may resist your attempts to say, “I’m sorry” or they may take anything you say and use it against you. If they do, don’t make the mistake that so many people in customer service do which is take the bait and fall into the trap.
Barbaric!
There was a time, when I was the customer care manager of a large company in Southern California, when I spoke to someone on the phone who was unhappy about the level of service she received from one of our associates. As I spoke with her I followed all of “textbook rules” of how to deal with complaining customers. I would’ve been happy for anyone to listen in on that conversation.
Unfortunately this customer did not agree! In the middle of it she called me “barbaric” and accused me of covering up for the company. This was after I had apologized for her experience, validated her right to feel the way she did and was trying to find ways to make it right for her. It didn’t matter she wanted to draw me into the fight!
The good news is I didn’t fall into the trap. I recognized that she was providing me feedback-and that feedback told me I was doing something wrong, even if I felt I was doing everything right. So, rather than fight back I listened until she calmed down. She even asked me if I was still on the phone. I explained to her that it was obvious I upset her and I wanted to make sure that I listened to her so that I knew her story.
After I said that something shifted. I’d love to tell you that the call ended immediately…it didn’t. But it did end positively and I never did hear from that customer again. What am I saying? When a customer is mad at you and wants to fight with you, be strong, be patient, be smart…don’t fall into the trap.
How about when…
You might be wondering, “Well Rommel, what do I do if a customer is yelling? Swearing? Accusing me of things we didn’t do? Shouldn’t I respond back?” Yes, you should respond, but don’t do so in a way that makes the problem worse, or makes them even more mad at you. I used to tell the people I managed, “Let the problem be the problem. I don’t want you to be the problem too!”
If someone is yelling or swearing at you and you want that person to stop. instead of sounding like a condescending parent, try asking them not to swear or yell instead. Too often customer service professionals can resort to shaming or guilt to get someone to comply. All this does is create more fiction, tension and can escalate the problem even more.
I remember helping a gentlemen who was swearing a lot. I could have chosen to talk to him as if I was his kindergarten teacher, “Now, Johnny if you don’t stop using naughty words and have a professional conversation I won’t speak to you and will have to put you in time out!” Instead I chose to assertively AND politely stop swearing, and here’s how, “Johnny, I know you’re mad. But we do have kids in hear and I don’t want them to hear any profanity. You can understand, right? Let’s go into my office.”
He looked at me with a, “Oh, whoops…didn’t think about that” look and we went into my office and continued our conversation. Yes he used a few swear words in that conversation too, but it was’t directed at me, he used them more like adjectives!
The point is instead of falling into the trap,. I walked around it. In the same way, the one of the secrets to customer service survival is choosing not to fall into the traps that surround you. If you’re not sure if you should say something, don’t. If you’re about to lash out in anger, pause for a moment before responding. Remind yourself that your customer has a right to his/her experience, even if they’re wrong.
It’s not always going to be easy, but it will be worth it.
Until next time-thanks for reading!
