No one likes dealing with angry residents! When I was the customer care manager for a large property management company in Southern California I dealt with them every day, and I can tell you, it was NOT fun! I can also tell you that it’s not easy … of course, you already knew that.
So, what can you do? Here is what I did every day that helped me…
One: Take Care of Yourself First
You can’t take care of others if you’re not taken care of. It’s hard to be patient, kind and empathetic when you’re tired, frustrated and over it, yourself. So, take the time to take care of YOU! During the work day take your breaks, get away for lunch and when you feel your stress/irritation/anger levels rising, take that as a sign that you need to take a quick break. That might mean just making a cup of coffee. Getting some fresh air. Taking a walk around the office. Or, stopping to breathe for a minute. When you’re off work, be OFF WORK so that you’re not around work 24/7. That is not healthy nor sustainable!
Two: Choose to Tip the First One Over
Often times when dealing with an angry resident you might get stuck with the attitude of, “Why should I be the one to change?” or “Why should I be the one to apologize. I didn’t do anything wrong! The resident is being a jerk!” Yet, the longer you stay stuck in this phase, the longer the resident will be upset at you. So, even if you don’t think you should, why not be the one to tip the first one over. Let me explain, as a kid I loved playing with dominos, and I’d stack them up and then knock them down. Well, once I tipped the first one over, it would start a chain reaction that would eventually knock the rest of the dominos down. The same thing happens when interacting with people. The actions we make can actually trigger the response we want from people! So, help yourself by choosing to be the first one to take a positive step.
Three: Commit to Build Connection (even if you don’t want to!)
We are all driven by the need to feel connection, so when you’re dealing with someone who is angry, one of the most effective things you can do is to create connection with them as soon as you can. The main thing is making them feel valued, cared for and listened to! (Even if you think they’re full of it!)
Four: Engage with Empathy
One of the most effective ways to build connection is to engage with empathy. All empathy is your sending the signal to someone that you want to understand their experience and that you do understand their point of view. You don’t have to agree with someone to empathize with them, BTW! So, make sure that you give cues that you care and listen actively.
Five: Know the Story
Listening actively will help you understand and know your customer’s story! By the end of the conversation you should know exactly what has upset your resident and what s/he wants you to make things better. Again, you don’t have to agree with your resident’s story, you just have to know the story.
Six: Acknowledge
After knowing the story this is the time to say something like, “I’m so sorry this has happened to you. I can see you’re frustrated and if I were you, I would be too….” The main thing is to validate your resident’s right to feel the way s/he does. (Again, whether you agree with it or not.)
Seven: Resolve the Problem/Restore Connection
Now that you know what the resident is upset about and what s/he wants, this is the time to see if you can resolve the problem. If you can great! If you can’t, what could you do that might not be all that the resident wanted, but could still give him/her a “win.” Lastly, be as gracious as you can…and whether you can resolve the problem or not, you can always restore connection.
